The fact that playing time is seen as the holy grail of progress, success, and self-worth for athletes is a problem. Before you shake your head so hard you fall out of your chair and hurt yourself on the way to the floor, I'd ask you to take a little literary walk with me.
I've been coaching for almost 20 years, at almost every level from little kids to college. I'm a former collegiate athlete. And none of that makes me an expert. I simply want to share a vantage point that some may not have seen or heard, having not spent this much time inside the world where the coaches and players navigate life together.
However many are in a match pales in comparison to the ones outside that I, as a coach, see as the most valuable ones. The ones easily overlooked, undervalued, and tossed aside in our rush to dwell on, overvalue, and count the ones in games.
Practice minutes. Car rides to and from practices, games, and tournament minutes. Passing in the halls at school and exchanging a smile with a teammate minutes. Sleepover minutes. Cookout minutes. Pool party minutes. Hanging out between tournament games under a tent to cool off minutes. Hugs from mom and dad after a tough team loss minutes. High fives from those same people after a huge win minutes. Text from a friend asking how your game went minutes.
The list of minutes could go on for...well...more minutes than we have here.
What concerns me most today, is a trend I have seen in the past few years.
Counting minutes in games, and missing moments because of it.
Teaching our kids how to be part of something bigger than themselves.
Teaching our kids to celebrate a moment bigger than their preference.
Teaching our kids to approach life with a servant's heart.
Teaching our kids that giving their all is success, in and of itself.
I'll stop short of offering the perfect answer, because I don't have one. I'm far from perfect as a coach. What I do know is I care about every kid I've ever coached like they are my own children. My heart leaps for them with joy in the happy moments, and breaks for them when I see tears on their face. I've choked up trying to tell them how proud of them I am, and I'm not ashamed in the least about that.
It's our choice which minutes our kids will remember.
The ones that we complain in front of our kids about how they should get more "play time".
Or...the ones where we affirm what a group of kids have achieved together.
One last thought...when we aren't sure where to start, so that we can set the example we want.
What if car rides have more to do with affirmation of what the team accomplished, rather than frustration over preference-driven expectations?
I don't see playing time when I look at the kids on my team.
I see an opportunity to create a platform they can stand on together, arm-in-arm.
I see an opportunity to build something bigger than any one individual.
I see an opportunity to help them discover WHO they are, so that they will know WHAT to do.
Not just on the field...but in life.
Thanks for the ear tonight.
Thanks for caring about your kids enough to give them the gift of playing team sports.
Thanks for hearing out a coach that wants the best for all of our kids.
I've been there as a parent.
And maybe...if we get to know one another...I can share that story with you too, someday.
It's what makes me a better coach.
Knowing that I, too, needed to hear, learn and apply this in my own life.
And ever since?
The car rides are a whole lot more fun.
The highest level of excellence, requires the highest level of sacrifice.
As coaches we all want the same results.
To get to the top requires something that many want, but a vast majority are unwilling to give.
As you prepare for pre-season, I'd encourage you to think as much about what you, your staff, and your program are willing to give up, as you are about what you are going to keep doing. Working harder, being more disciplined, communicating better...are all things that are incredibly important within the construct of a successful team. Getting to the point where those desires become daily habits is another story. It's take more than having the best of intentions. It means having a plan that is intentionally implemented.
To get to the destination we want,
means we'll have to give up some baggage we don't need.
And if that means you need to put measures in place to hold yourself accountable, that isn't a sign of weakness...it's another marker that you are a high-level leader...creating a rock-solid culture of greatness...sold out to your vision every single day.
Every program is different.
Every staff is different.
Every group of student-athletes is different.
The ones that succeed on the field, in the classroom, and in their community this year will be the ones who can identify the things they are willing to go without, so that they can double their focus on the things they need.
Keep kicking in the direction of your calling,
sold out to your vision on the way!
What does it really mean to be a "team"?
To build something greater than us, requires a non-negotiable move to make an investment.
An investment requires a deposit,
and a deposit requires a sacrifice.
We have to do without a part of us, so that it can bring a greater return outside of us.
Is there a risk in investment?
So how do we reconcile the risk? How do we calculate if it's worth it to be that vulnerable?
When we invest in a person, or a team, how do we trust it's the right decision?
Here's the thing...
We weren't called to pre-determine the outcome, just invest in the relationship(s).
Outcomes known ahead of time remove the strength that the journey provides on the way.
Jesus offers us a relationship with him, knowing full well we will let him down at some point. Think about that for a minute. He knows it will happen, and he still does it freely.
If he can do that for us, who are we not to do that for one another?
We are hard-wired to do life as a part of something much larger than ourselves.
When we do?
Victory is sweeter.
Defeat is more bearable.
Questions have answers.
Grief has company.
Adversity has support.
The list goes from being a personal point of pain, to becoming a collective opportunity.
The upcoming season is just around the corner.
What is your intentional plan to invest in the relationships on your team?
Every relationship that is authentic, starts with a deposit.
That is a sacrifice worth making.
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